I don't know about you, but when too many good things happen to me, or I begin to count my blessings, I get a little worried that proverbial other shoe is going to drop. I am sitting on my deck this morning, in awe of the beauty surrounding me - the trees, the sun shining, the animals, the wind rustling in the leaves - and knowing my family is safe asleep with food in the fridge and water from the tap, I begin to think about the people who don't have these things.... and then I feel, I don't know? Guilty? Unworthy? Like something bad has to happen to balance out my good fortune? Then I begin to freak myself out. Maybe we shouldn't go on the river today - someone is going to get hurt. Why is that? Why am I able to accept the bad or sub-par more easily than the good or great in my life? When crappy things happen to me, I don't sit around and think, "ok, now something really great is going to happen to balance that out."
I begin to wax even more poetic (at least in my own head) that maybe those thoughts keep me from reaching my full potential. If I really think about it, that is what I should feel guilty about. Not using all the gifts and talents God has given me to their greatest extent. Then another voice creeps in my head... "Wow, that's pretty arrogant of you - thinking you have gifts and talents...God is going to humble you." What the hell is wrong with me?!
Pepper and Pals: Musings from an ordinary woman with a job, husband, teenagers, animals and opinions.
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