Make your mark

Recently a friend from high school was killed in a traffic accident.  I hadn't seen him since high school and only recently became Facebook friends with him.  It wasn't anything deep or "catching up" like, it was more, "Oh cool, I wonder what he's been doing for the last 20-some years."  But when I heard the news that he died, I cried. It was an unexpected, immediate reaction.  I hadn't talked to this man in forever and there I sat with tears streaming down my face.  I tried to figure out why this hit me so hard and in my introspection realized that his death was such an 'in-your-face' way of facing my own mortality.  I mean, I know I'm mortal; I cringe at the stupid and dangerous things I did as a kid and spend sleepless nights now that I have teenagers praying they don't do anything like that.  I was past the point of thinking I was invincible but was still at the "that only happens to old people, I've got time" stage of my life.  No more.  I wasn't trying to be selfish and make his death about me; I am so sad for everyone in his life -  his wife, his kids, his friends.  It was senseless and horrible and a waste of a wonderful man.  But I was caught off-guard at how sad I felt and now this week I have discovered that another friend from high school is sick with lung cancer that has spread and his prognosis is not good.  I haven't seen this friend either since graduation day a lifetime ago, but he's someone who has touched my life, played a part in it - someone I grew up with.  He actually punched me in the eye in third grade on the playground when I was teasing him.  He's a part of my childhood and here he is in a struggle for his life.  How do we go from being ready to take on the world to getting our ass kicked by the world in what feels like the blink of an eye?  What I'm realizing is that the old cliche 'life is short' is actually true.  Life really is short.  So instead of just saying it like a punchline, I need to live it like the truth that it is.  Next time I'm afraid of trying something out of my comfort zone I am going to picture those two men and realize that I have to do it - now.  I can't put it off until I'm skinnier or making more money or the kids have graduated or any other excuse I tell myself.  There is a motto in my company - T.N.T.  today, not tomorrow - that is going to be my motto.  That has to be my motto.  I can't just keep shaking my head every Wednesday when my friend posts "Happy Hump Day!" and wonder how another week has passed me by so quickly.  The majority of my life has been pretty unremarkable - why?  What am I waiting for?  What are you waiting for?