Paging Dr. Crazy...

I don't know about you, but when too many good things happen to me, or I begin to count my blessings, I get a little worried that proverbial other shoe is going to drop.  I am sitting on my deck this morning, in awe of the beauty surrounding me - the trees, the sun shining, the animals, the wind rustling in the leaves - and knowing my family is safe asleep with food in the fridge and water from the tap, I begin to think about the people who don't have these things.... and then I feel, I don't know?  Guilty? Unworthy?  Like something bad has to happen to balance out my good fortune?  Then I begin to freak myself out.  Maybe we shouldn't go on the river today - someone is going to get hurt.  Why is that?  Why am I able to accept the bad or sub-par more easily than the good or great in my life?  When crappy things happen to me, I don't sit around and think, "ok, now something really great is going to happen to balance that out."

I begin to wax even more poetic (at least in my own head) that maybe those thoughts keep me from reaching my full potential.  If I really think about it, that is what I should feel guilty about.  Not using all the gifts and talents God has given me to their greatest extent.  Then another voice creeps in my head... "Wow, that's pretty arrogant of you - thinking you have gifts and talents...God is going to humble you."  What the hell is wrong with me?!

**Que? Ya-nee-poo-nee-my-you!

My baby girl turned 15 on Tuesday.  As most of you know, she was adopted from Russia when she was almost 7.  Watching her blossom and grow has been the best thing I could have ever done for my soul.  She is a beautiful child, inside and out.  Learning English as a second language though is tough, yet she has persevered and done an amazing job mastering this crazy language.  But I have to admit, listening to her learn English provided many hours of entertainment.  So much so, that her dad used to write down her sayings on his phone.  We called them YoungestChild'sName-isms. Here are some examples... Enjoy!

• glove department = glove compartment; as in, "Dad, can you get me some napkins out of the glove department?"

• go fish = gold fish, as in, "My favorite crackers are go fish crackers."

• Border Control = Border Patrol  "Were they arrested by Border Control?"

• workin' on a stinker....she tried to keep up with her gross brothers, 'nuf said

• "(How) To Kill a Mockingbird"  Three summers ago, my kids had to read To Kill a Mockingbird for their summer project with me.  Every time she referenced the book, she always threw in the "How" in front of the title.

• dandrum = dandruff, as in, "I think I might have dandrum."

• "don't throw it at me hardly, throw it softly" when her dad was teaching her to play catch

• "no eye-er" when she was playing the basketball game of HORSE with her dad and her trick shot was one with her eyes closed, it was a "no eye-er"

• "This burger is big...like an 'Inside Out' burger."  instead of In-n-Out burger.

• "Out of the bloom (blue)"...  "It just hit me out of the bloom!"

• whoppers = loppers  When trimming trees, "do you need help with the whoppers, Dad?"

• "You know what....whippity-doo!"  She still says, "You know what?" when she's mad.  I think whippity-doo was supposed to be whoopity-doo!

• And my most favorite -ism; about 6 months after she arrived in the States, we went to Knott's Berry Farm and we were in line for a ride and the guy next to us STUNK, she turned to me and said quietly, "he no good smell."

We don't get very many -isms from her anymore.  It's almost a secret victory for KC and me when she says one now and she gets very offended when we giggle and will turn to her dad and say, "DO NOT WRITE THAT IN YOUR PHONE!"  Love that kid.  She's really more like a young lady now.  My, how time flies. It seems like only yesterday when, after I explained what "being pregnant" meant, she patted my stomach and asked, "oh, you have a baby in there?"  Like I said, love that kid.


**For those of you wondering about the headline... Que? = What? in Spanish and Ya-nee-poo-nee-my-you  is the phonetic version of saying, "I don't understand you" in Russian.

Feeling a little like Ann Landers on the Lion King soundtrack, but that's a good thing...

I have really missed blogging.  I decided not to put my thoughts down in print for a while because I was pretty angry with a parent who was making my life a living hell and really disappointed about how people with a higher pay grade than me handled it and I knew that anything I wrote was going to be laced with sarcasm and nastiness.  Not that sarcasm and nastiness don't have their place....I was just afraid it would consume me and I wouldn't be able to write anything but.  That would get old quickly and you wouldn't want to read, and I wouldn't want to write, my blog anymore so I decided to take a break until I was in a better place (mentally and physically!)

I am now in Michigan for the summer. Being here brings me a lot of peace and happiness.  Partly because I'm with my family, partly because I'm in the cooler weather and I feel a ton better (Arizona summer heat and MS do not mix), partly because I'm not dealing with horrible parents right now, and partly because I'm in my comfort zone; this is where I fit in and can be myself.  Although, since arriving in the state I grew up in, I have discovered that living in Tucson for 20 years has rubbed off on me and I have become more of a hippie than I realized.  And I'm not even embarrassed about it. (Don't worry, conservative ones, I still have some beliefs that balance me out.)  I'm also feeling energized because I have started a new adventure selling It Works! products.  I used them, loved them, and knew I would feel confident selling them.  I'm not going to try to convince you of the products' merits here but have found people's reactions, when learning of my new endeavor, fascinating.  Some aren't interested in learning about them right now, some are excited to use them, some think I'm hawking snake oil, and the one I find most odd - some seem to be threatened that I'm trying to change my station in life.  When I pondered this further, it seems there are always people who, whenever anyone wants to make a change for the better in their life, take the attitude of  "Who do you think you are? Don't upset the status quo."  Why is that?  I guess it's human nature, I'm sure I've been guilty of doing it but as I've been on the receiving end of that mentality recently, I've been (over) analyzing it and have decided that maybe people think there is a limited supply of good fortune.  I don't think there is a finite supply of success - or love; just because I am successful doesn't mean that I've taken that away from someone else. Nor if I love my husband with all my heart, does that mean that when my children came along, I had to love him less to be able to love them.  If anything, I think loving them made me love him more.  So, me really going for it with this opportunity and being successful will mean a windfall for me, as well as many people around me.  When I buy a new car, build a new house, need higher insurance limits, acquire beautiful art and furniture, hire a cleaning service, get more frequent haircuts, manicures and massages, go to yoga daily, travel more often, and donate more money to charity, many, many people benefit but I can't identify anyone who loses.  This is a good reminder for me.  When others accomplish their goals, I don't lose.  If anything, I win because they will be more apt to try my products (and when they try them, they'll love them and will continue to buy them!  sorry, couldn't resist.) so it's important to root for everyone!  It keeps the good energy circle going - the circle I want to be a part of.  So good luck to any of you contemplating change.  I wish you success and will be genuinely happy for you when you achieve it!  Now go out and do it!  Another good reminder for me.